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life | in search of...

Monday, March 28

I have found myself searching lately...
for a number of wildly different things...

the perfect macaron, for instance.

more time for crafting things like this...
(photo source:

the perfect packaging for these...

more time for "taking time" to smell the roses around the house.
(I included a dice to show you how GI-normous these blooms are)

more baking, crafting and quality time with this peanut butter-faced little girl...

not to mention less t.v. time for Ella and a pre-school for her too...

and finally...
the answers to the heart-string tugging questions these girls posed to me lastnight at the dinner table...*sigh*

What things are you in search of lately?
What's tugging at your heart strings?
I'm looking forward to finding the answers to some of these things very soon.
I'm also content knowing that a lot of what I'm searching for has everything to do with balance...(that ever-elusive thing I'm constantly in search of).
It's all about prioritizing, right?

Happy Monday everyone!
We've got a full week to "make things happen"!!
Let's go...

Clara and Ema's heart-string tugging questions?
• "Why do you have to work so much? Can't you close your shoppe on Saturdays?"
• "When can we go off for an entire day...just us girls...and do something FUN together. (without your camera).
• "We just want to have fun and be crazy together...what happened to the FUN Jessica from your description of your high school days?" 

I sincerely appreciate the fact that my girls are taking time to express themselves.
I also appreciate that they genuinely crave more quality time together.

I can tell you I immediately got really defensive to their questions...
feeling unappreciated for all that I do.
feeling like they just don't get it. (and I don't expect them to at their age).
feeling like they don't accept me for who I am as an indivdual with the whole "without your camera" comment - my feelings were hurt.
and then obviously feeling like a failure. *sigh*

And then later the sense of "panic" set in.
I don't want any regrets.
I don't want to "wish" I'd spent more time with them.
I don't want to "wish" we had a closer relationship...etc., etc.

And now the "reassessment" stage.
Analyzing what I need to do different.
Realizing it's an exceptionally busy time right now with the upcoming Pastry Pedestal launch...and being okay with that.
Knowing prior to the conversation, I'd already cut back to only doing four custom designs per month until the end of summer - hoping this will alleviate some of my work load.
Considering the solutions to make things better - for everyone.

Anyone out there have a book with all of the answers?
Send me the link on quick! I need it. *wink*


Artful Gathering said...

Best of luck.... I think most of us Women feel the same tugging and unsure what we can do to change it... Hugs

Jennifer Birkhead said...

I don't have the answers but wanted t let you know that I am searching for a lot of the same things xxx

Michele @ crazyfordesign said...

It's always hard to balance all the things we love, especially when we love and have interest in so many avenues of creativity. ;)

Anonymous said...

No book...just experience. Know that you are teaching them so very many of the important qualities that you want them to incorporate in their lives. You are being the best example to them! And then take a walk and talk. Tell them that you are doing what you love and that you dream for them to be able to do what THEY love.

You'll find your balance. You have the best of priorities. And just keep on loving every moment ~ both good and bad. It is all part of life's journey.

Unknown said...

Your comments mean the world to me everyone.
Thank you so much for reaching out and taking a minute to comment.

Dawn - you are so right. It's an ongoing battle for just about every woman I think.'s a constant search for all of us..isn't it! *wink*

Michele - you couldn't be more right. I am genuinely interested in SO many different things. And I love them all.

Lisa - your words touched my heart. Thank you SO much!!

By the way...I took some time to bake with Ella this's the proof:

Hugs to you all!

~ LaVonne said...

Maybe we should all consider contributing to a book!! ;-)
This post was most inspring...& I also get asked some of these questions, literally (by the older kids) & not-so-literally (by my 18 month old!)! You make it all look so graceful & easy! Thanks for these kinds of posts!! :D

Kristin said...

I uderstand what you are going through. What it really comes down to is: Priority.It is easy to say, "family comes first" before my creative oultet. But it is another thing to but that "Priority" into action. Sometimes as much as you know saying "NO" to that great opportunity is going to {we think}, be devasting, try putting your trust in the Lord, and trust Him to work it all out. When we say "NO" for our husband and children's benefit, the Lord will be honored and you will be blessed.Who knows what He has planned for your future that you might miss out on because you were implulsive. I think the Lord is trying to get your attention through your children, like He does all mothers at times. Sometimes it is wise to "disconnect" from those things "disconnecting" us from those that matter the most to us, for awhile, as to not "tear down our house" in the process. As much joy and satisfaction as it brings you doing what you do artistically, it is all temporary and will fade away. But what you invest in your husband and children, that is priceless and eternal. Only you can decide what the right answer is for you. Search your heart with the Lord beside you. Love never fails. Will be praying for you.

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