Hello January 2018!
I welcome your opportunities, your joy, your blessings, your happy memories + good health for myself, my family, my friends in real life, my friends that join me here on my blog and on social media. I embrace and welcome all of the good you have to offer each and every one of us and I celebrate the chance to do some good, to create some good and to feel some good. *wink*
Time for a new focus word and mine this year is....FREE.
And boy did I struggle for whatever reason to pick just the right word this year.
My word typically finds me without me searching.
Not this year.
Maybe because I knew it really needed to be a good one...
one with power...
but one that I would love to see written and spelled out...
because you know I love hand-lettered anything and I'm such a visual person.
(Heck! I even picked my children's names based on how it felt hand writing it out on a sheet of clean white paper). *wink*
But why the word "Free"?
I needed a word that represented an "unearthing" of sorts.
I needed a word that stood for "letting go", a "rebirth" AND an "elimination + purging" mindset.
A word that symbolized a "peeling away of layers".
A word that represented "healing".
I was searching for the perfect word to harness some beautiful energy for the journey ahead to rediscovering...and unburying...and reconnecting with the girl I once was.
Specifically to the girl who has buried her good health under layers of disappointment + shame, to be completely honest.
As I recently wrote in my journal, "I've been storing food reserves for a very long winter apparently." - lol And this needs to stop. Self care is my number one this year. Period.
Everything else is secondary.
Essentially, if I can get a handle on my overall health everything else will see improvement.
I've played the victim to my own insecurities and unfortunately allowed myself to become a prisoner in my own body; a prisoner to my fears. A prisoner to my doubt. A prisoner to lies I had convinced myself to be truth.
I need to break out of the prison and be FREE!
I can visually see it in my mind.
I can see the girl I once was...the one I left behind. I'm looking at her. She's looking at me. Our eyes have locked and I am running fiercely to meet her; To grab her hand and continue the journey together; To remind her I haven't forgotten her. I have NOT left her behind. I am back.
I'm running back to rescue the girl who's optimistic, cheerful, trusting heart has been crushed by life experiences.
I'm sprinting through the wide open prairie to wear she is standing and has been waiting for me to return. I can see this vividly in my mind. I cannot let her down. I cannot leave her standing there anymore. And I know when I reach her...I will not have rescued her....she will have rescued me.
Can you feel the passion in my words? I hope so...because I can feel it in my fingertips as I type.
A spent hours upon hours looking up words that might be the word I was looking for!
Tend, restore, pure, clean, cleanse, reclaim, shift, return, reset, refresh, rebuild, dig, peel, chip, core, shed, center, root, foundation, excavate, create, carve, mold, chisel, unveil, beauty, unmask, claw, fight, war, take back, unbury, raw, stripped...and well.
I had convinced myself that my word was "well"!
Then I changed it to "grit"!
And then I ended up at "free"!
"Well" was so awesome in so many ways but ultimately I decided it was too "soft".
So I then I did a 360 and chose "grit" which was a super tough and energizing word...but not "pretty" and appealing to me visually.
And then "FREE"....defined as:
No longer confined.
Not a slave.
Unimpeded.
Of power + energy.
Not bound.
Not subject to or constrained by.
Unrestrained.
Uninhibited.
Release from physical obstruction, restraint or entanglement.
Remove something undesirable.
BINGO!! That's it.
It's an action word.
It's definition touches on everything I'm focusing on.
And it's aesthetically pleasing to my eye. *wink*
From my journal, "Free. That's nice on the ears and eyes and it touches on my 3 H's:
HEALTH + HEART + HOME"
HEALTH - free from my physical prison - aka fat layers + less than desirable level of health
HEART - free from guilt, pain, hardness, numbness
HOME - free up space in my life by continuing to simplify, declutter + getting rid of things.
I know that was a lot to read and take in.
I'll finish with this last sentence...
From my journal: "This year ahead is going to be really hard physically AND emotionally because of the awesomeness I'm looking to uncover within myself."
Yes!! Amen to that! And if you are looking to uncover your awesomeness too perhaps choosing a word might be something to help motivate you!
If you do the whole choosing a word thing each year and are looking to uncover your awesomeness too, I hope you have found one to keep you energized.
And if you've never tried it...I highly recommend it. Tip: Choose a verb. It's got more power behind it. More action. And that's what choosing a word is about!
xoxo,
Jess
KEEPiNG iT REAL
I'm definitely going to have to come back to this post and read it when I need a boost of energy and will power. Writing this has pumped me up all over again!!
I've added exercise into my life 2-3 days a week and have been eating so much better for the month of January. I'm a little behind in some goals I set for myself but writing this post has given me some renewed energy to make it happen.