Not sure if you've picked up on the fact that...
I tend to be an overachiever.

Sometimes this is a very good quality to have.
And other times I find it quite annoying.

Regardless...
it's part of who I am.
And because of it...
I have come to learn so much about myself.

One of the hardest things I've had to learn over the past few years...
(yes...this particular piece of self-discovery is still sort of new)...
Is this...

Source: jenniferjohner.typepad.com via Jessica on Pinterest

Growing up...
There wasn't anything I didn't think I could conquer, if I put my mind to it.
Not only conquer...
But excel at...
and even, perhaps, be the very best at...
(whatever it was).

No...
I wasn't that person who participated in every extra-curricular activity in school.
And aside from cheerleading for a short period in my life...
I wasn't involved in competitive sports.
I didn't run for class president...
I wasn't a straight-A student either.

I guess you'd call it "selective" over-achieving.
I HAVE to find it interesting...
I HAVE to be passionate about it...
and it HAS to hold my attention....
otherwise, once I've conquered it...
I'm done with it.

I had no fear of whatever challenge was before me.
Whatever I put my mind to...
I could do it.
And I could do it well.

It either stemmed from a very strong sense of self-confidence...
or developed due to a lack of confidence...
and the need to prove myself to others. (and to myself)?
I haven't figured out which one it was yet.
Probably a combination of the two since I think we are born with such innocence...
not yet fully aware of the sting of failure...
or the fear that somehow creeps into our lives as we are exposed to pain...
frustration...
embarrassment...
and all of the other emotions and experiences that continually shape and mold us.

This "overachiever" mindset was carried over into adulthood...
And it became particularly prominent when I became a mother.
I grew up wanting to be the "perfect" Mom.
I'm certain I'm no different than so many of you out there.


I want to be good at everything I do.
And most importantly...
I want to be able to do everything I want to do.
I have dreams...
And I have my heart and mind set on achieving so many different things...
This list includes everything from:
• being that "perfect Mom"
• being the perfect daughter
• the perfect friend
• the perfect neighbor
• the woman who religiously works out for health and fitness
• the girl who's baking everyone loves
• the girl who's cooking everyone craves
• the one who's home feels comfortable to all who enter
• the person who's home is always neat and tidy
• the woman who provides a safe haven for her family by creating warmth and love in her home

Not the girl who necessarily HAS it all...(although that would be nice too.) *wink*
but the girl who can DO it all.
I get extremely frustrated when I feel like I'm having to choose between the things I want to do.

I don't want to have to choose...
I really want to be able to do EVERYTHiNG!!
And sometimes I let my own frustration get the best of me.
I refer to it as "swimming against the current".
I don't want to prioritize...
because EVERYTHiNG is a priority.
I sometimes feel that if I let go of something I sincerely feel is important...
I will somehow end up with a lot of missing pieces to my "life puzzle".

I resist surrendering to the fact that there are only so many hours in the day...
and that there's only so much energy I'm alloted on a daily basis...
and that there is a cut-off point as to the number of irons I have in the fire...

And then...
this arrived via email today from Brave Girls Club...

I DO love to do things in a "beautiful, soulful way".
But if try to do everything...
"sacred things will suffer...especially [me]."

This is something I know I will have to continually remind myself of.
And as much as it pains me...
I DO have to "give myself permission to put some things on a different timetable..."
It's VERY hard for me to accept when I have to leave something "undone".
It's difficult to let go of anything I feel is important...

But I completely agree with this:
"It does not make you weak or powerless...
it shows your strength and commitment to all that is best for your own precious life".

Anyone else out there need that message today?

I genuinely love you guys.
I'm SO grateful for every single one of you who takes the time to read my posts.
I'm grateful for all of you who leave comments...
and share your own personal stories.
I adore each of you.
Thank you for enriching my life...
I especially thank you for listening...*wink*

Did you know? | My grandfather...my hero

Did you know...

My grandfather is/was my hero...

A couple of weeks ago...
I felt inspired to start sharing little things about me that you might not know.
Things that will ultimately connect us in ways that might not otherwise be possible.
I've decided to call these my "Did you know?" posts.

They will be random little things about me...
my life...
my experiences...
my family...
my beliefs...
insights into my life I feel will help open the doors
and shed light on the path that has made me the person I am today.

Also, with the first few days of November behind us...
I felt inspired to share some feelings/things about gratitude throughout the month...
because ultimately being genuinely grateful for what we have...
is the magic key for unlocking the door to the happiness in life we are all seeking.

So today's "Did you know" post happens to combine BOTH of those desires:
My desire for sharing a little something about myself...
and sharing with you someone I'm eternally grateful for...

my grandfather....Charles J. Richardson, Jr.

My grandfather was my only male role model growing up since I never really knew my dad.

(My parents were divorced when I was two years old. My dad never played an active role in my life. 

I vaguely remembered him while growing up and honestly, I finally had the opportunity to meet him about 10 years ago).

My grandfather was handsome, funny, devoted, kind, loving, generous, creative, imaginative and intelligent...

He loved life...

He loved his family...

He loved his country...

He loved his friends...

And he loved and adored the love of his life...my grandmother, Dorothy Louisette

I've decided to share a segment of the Family Reunion Slideshow I put together over the summer.
This particular part of the slideshow is one of the most emotional parts since it's a tribute to my grandfather...

I must tell you...
The images are mostly gripping emotional photos...from his grave side burial.
Yes...
I know that sounds a little strange.
Who takes photos at a funeral?
I'd never really thought about doing that before...
but I felt inspired to do-so because my grandfather
was honored with a military gun salute for his 20+ years of service in the Navy
and his 6 months spent as a P.O.W. in Ofuna, Japan during World War II.
It was important to me to capture those images.

I am SO grateful I stepped out of my comfort zone...
and put aside the hesitation/skepticism I had about photographing something so personal.
I can't tell you how much I treasure the images because they truly capture the emotion of the day.
Priceless images of family and friends that have experienced a deep sense of loss without him here now...
People who will forever be touched by my grandfather's example.
He truly was an incredible man...
A person I hold in the highest regard.

I feel so incredibly lucky.
Lucky to have known him...
to have shared part of his life with him.

I'm also proud of him.
Proud of the person he was...
the profound character he had...
the incredible ability to find humor even in the midst of sorrow, heartache and trials...
the amazing legacy he left behind...
and especially proud to call him my grandfather.

So...
turn your music off if you have it playing...
turn your volume up if it's down...
There's music you'll want to hear as you watch the slideshow...

Without further adieu...

My grandfather...my hero

And now you know... 

KEEPiNG iT REAL

After taking a few photos myself...
I of course was overcome with emotion.

I ended up handing the camera off to Tina...my brother's girlfriend at the time, who has since become his wife.

I'm grateful she managed to capture most of the moving images in the video...

The one of my brother and I in a tear-filled, heartfelt embrace...wow.

So many emotions.